How to Spot a Psychopath

I rely on spam for my daily dose of randomness. Whether it's the smattering of apparently genuine (or maybe just address-testing) messages about adopting adorable puppies on the other side of the world that I received a week or so ago, or the numerous opportunities to build a collection of Korean-made railway rolling stock, old freighters registered in Panama and, of course, Chinese pumps, the less common flavours of spam give my inbox a pleasingly gonzo edge.

Recent examples:

An outfit called ByteShark, previously chiefly notable for its very plausible claims of a cure for baldness, has now decided to become some sort of "visual content" search engine.

I think you're meant to be able to upload a picture from your computer and find Web pages with similar pictures on them, or something, but all the search seems to do at the moment is take an incredibly long time (while showing you an ad for the baldness remedy!), and then turn up a bunch of severely sub-Google-Images results. If you upload an image, ByteShark appears to be very good at finding other images that resemble it in no way whatsoever.

The best part about the e-mail, though, was that it was sent to me, because Byteshark had brilliantly decided that since dansdata.com is hosted by SecureWebs, I must be the contact address not for securewebs.com, but specifically for shop.securewebs.com, which is the server that delivers the little "Hosted By" image on the bottom of dansdata.com pages. Which ByteShark now indexes. Hurrah!

It's OK to play around with exciting new search engine paradigms. Just don't start spamming people about your revolutionary product until it can at least pretend to work.

(UPDATE: Just now, on the 24th of October 2007, ByteShark have sent me another copy of the exact same announcement message.)

Example two:

I've always enjoyed the interminable politico-religious screeds that some people spam. Fair enough; you can't wait for people to discover your 500-kilobyte one-page Geocities site when the fate of Christendom, or something, hangs in the balance.
Here's something I got yesterday. I hope you're sitting comfortably.

  mr. dan,

 

     I was looking for computer check meters, I got your message on google images, saying , the meter told me that and reached you,

here what I have written to a computer software specialist, same for you. In the last my complete introduction.

:

   Dear mr. mansoor,

   sql server magazine,

  

 

       I append below my general information for your kind perusal

   It was good to see the name, mansoor, as my brother's name is

   also mansoor and he is settled in  southafrica.  I would be glad to know  your origin.  I have a question,

 

    how to put a sign-in seal , that would create a link between a certain

   computer cpu, and yahoo.  I have got many accounts closed. so I complained to hong kong arbitration centre.

 

   what do you think a sign-in seal means authorised access by yahoo

to a certain computer, and what if firewall is put on, will sign-in seal

be created, or we should remove the firewall first and then , sign-in

seal could be made.  I was unable to put a sign-in seal, to prevent

password theft.  However my password was
not stolen, yahoo company officials have been frequently closing my e.mail accounts.

 

  I knew about yourself, that you are founder and chief technology officer of  I S P R I N G.  My introduction is appended below.

 

  munsifrasool_007@yahoo.com

  pakistan

 

  

 

 

  My name: Munsif rasool, s/o Late ghulam rasool

  surname: 
Babbar,

  comp. NIC NO: 41303-1480967-9 issued from Pakistan's

                                national database authority.

 

  education:  commerce graduate

 

Deasirs/mam,

 

   I am munsif rasoo, aged 37, and former agricultural developmentbank employee.  I worked for this bank from  17-5-95 to 30-8-2002.  During my service tenure in the year 1997,98, I wrote some direct requests to the
authorities of bank for legitimate purposes, to which bank responded, and I got the due advantages from bank.  In the month of februaray-2001, security guards of army run company called sms security, fought outside first women bank ltd, gul centre branch, Hyderabad, and they later got a complaint registered at cantonment police station, saddar, hyderabad.  I was later removed from the service on the pretext that I defamed the image of the bank.

 

  However, I explained my position with regard to all the allegations levelled against me, explaining that why would I go to a police station to get a complaint registered, so that image of agricultural bank should be defamed.

 

  In the month of august-2002 some conspirators ignoring head office instructions issued to audit zone-10, hyderabad, where I was posted,

came up with old matters and turned them into allegations that I wrote direct
requests to head office.  On the contrary matters of the past had settled in past.

 

  The bank, outside where , sms company security guards made the hue and cry and made scuffle, are still in first women bank ltd, opposite , pakistan airforce recruitment and selection centre, saddar, hyderabad. And the woman named iffat bashir who was manager, at the time of scuffle outside first women bank ltd, gul centre branch, has now joined united bank ltd, of his excellency sheikh nahyan bin m,abarak al-nahyan. a renowned industrialist of abudhabi.  she joined this bank in the month of april-2004.  In the month of june-2004, I also received a letter from the head office of united bank ltd, karachi.  The sender was one mr. shahid habibullah, div. head, hum,an resources.  He said that my cv had been included in computer database, as and when opportunity arose , I would be contacted.  I kept wandering around the UBL,
regional head quarter for three years, but I could never get the job of even marketeer.

 

  Hundreds of people were seen in the two branches of united bank ltd, i.e. gul centre branch and civic centrebranch, but some terrorists started terrorism and they onceagain started to fight.

 

  That I am a poor and orphan, I was looking for a job to support my research activities, and goons from mohajir mafia started to get jobs in this bank.

 

  I received a valid letter no.ps/DH/RCD/278,  21-6-2004, for a permanent post in united bank ltd, but terrorists started to threaten me, and I started to send a case against this bank to UAE and the newspapers of other countries.

 

  I have made hectic efforts to get my job in agricultural bank back, but nepotism, and hostitlity never go, and I became a victium of hostility.

 

  my father was regional manager, Agricultural development bank of pakistan , he passed away in the month of nov.1991, my mother also passed away in the month of may-1995, and now after august-2002 I am on roads and streets to find a source of income.  What it turned out to be later, I have drafted a complete report against the psyche of pakistanis in the banks and other govt. institutions, please read this report at     munsifrasool_007@yahoo.com

 

munsif_55@yahoo.com, because when I started to send my report to the newspapers of other muslim countries , I started to find my e.mail accounts to be closed.  Hoping that someone gracious, and generous will help an educated person.

 

 

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