How to Spot a Psychopath

I think Blinky™ pretty much speaks for himself.

(The 1080p HD version is 435Mb, but worth downloading.)

A reader writes:

I wanted to thank you for linking to "The Magician" in one of your (fairly) recent blog posts. <oz>Bloody brilliant film, mate!</oz>

Can you recommend any other outstanding films from your sector of the hemisphere?

John

The Magician, for the benefit of other readers, is a low-budget mock-documentary about an Australian hit man, who's played by the actual filmmaker. Like many other Australian crime films, it is hilarious and unsettling, often simultaneously.

And yes, I do have a few suggestions, particularly in this genre.

To get the better-known ones out of the way first, there's Chopper, of course, and Two Hands. Then Dirty Deeds, with numerous Australians trapped in John Goodman's gravity well, and Gettin' Square, which is heavier on the comedy and lighter on the crime.

If you're looking for something similarly Aussie and gritty but less... cheerful... there's early Russell Crowe flick Romper Stomper, the significantly more miserable Metal Skin, and the bleaker still Ghosts... of the Civil Dead.

I also have to digress and give the short Zombie Movie a plug, because there ain't no zombie like a New Zealand zombie, and that movie can be had for free on Steam. And while we're talking antipodean zombies, Undead adds something quite unexpected to the genre.

And now, some Amazon affiliate links for the above flicks. Several of them are now discontinued, but new and used DVDs are still on offer:

Chopper
Two Hands
Dirty Deeds
Gettin' Square
Romper Stomper (fancy 2-disc version)
Metal Skin
Ghosts... of the Civil Dead
Undead

(Whipping through the IMDb "recommendations" for the above titles also reminded me of The Limey, in which various Americans discover that being on the enemies list of both General Zod from Superman II and Bernadette from Priscilla is very, very bad. The Limey is nice and cheap on Amazon.)

The Magician itself is a bit hard to find in the States. You might very well be able to find it in some wretched hive of scum and villainy; I couldn't possibly comment. If you want it legally, though, it's elusive.

Once you filter out the incorrect hits ("...not Simon The Magician, not either Mandrake The Magician, not The Magician from 1993 with Clive Owen in it, not Melies' 1898 Le magicien, not the one from 1926, not the 1973 Bill Bixby movie or TV series..."), there aren't a lot of hits left. The Magician's very recognisable DVD cover helps a bit, though:

Here The Magician is on Amazon UK, here it is at a random Australian online DVD shop, and there are a couple on eBay at the moment too. But they're in the UK, and shippable to Australia and of course also to the UK but, as I write this, not to the USA.

I invite other suggestions, particularly of low-budget quirky crime films from lesser-seen countries. Feel free to widen the net enough to include, for instance, A Dog's Breakfast, which some of us laugh at in unexpected places.

Herewith, selected thoughts on finally getting around to watch "Doomsday". It's Neil Marshall's third big movie; he also did The Descent and Dog Soldiers.

In brief: Yes, this is indeed total nonsense, but awesome!

Some minor spoilers follow.

Righto, I'm watching a plague movie. Mmm, splatter!

Oh, no - this is Escape from New York, obviously.

I suppose if everything's going to hell, it's not a bad idea to have a genetically enhanced Prime Minister. (Could be better, could be worse.)

No, wait - now I'm watching Aliens.

No, no, hang on - it's Beyond Thunderdome. Leathers and feathers all over the shop.

I don't care what you say - I'll put Scottish post-apocalyptic lunatics up against the post-apocalyptic lunatics of any other nation you care to name.

When you see a bloke with a big dangly punk face decoration and you think, "you're not living in a society where hanging a handle off your face is a good idea, mate", and later on you're proven to be exactly right? Nice.

Honestly, I could go a bit of long pig right now. Yum.

As long as you're not trying to make Great Art, casting stunt-people in primary roles is an excellent idea.

OK, I'm officially shutting down my Nitpicking Cortex now. What I just saw were special post-apocalypse trail bikes, which are completely inaudible until they're six feet behind you. And it turns out to take about three seconds to get a steam locomotive going. And it's been a generation since anybody around here saw a dentist, but they've all got great teeth. And nobody knows how to make a crystal radio any more. And spy satellites will only spot the occasional individual wandering around, even if giant open-air cannibal raves are happening every night.

OK, really stopping with the nitpicks now.

Right, that's it, this whole movie has just been made worthwhile by its inclusion of a Flanders and Swann reference! "PEOPLE HAVE ALWAYS EATEN PEOPLE"!

Craig Conway's deranged yelling skills were clearly wasted when he was a mere, short-lived, "Camper" in Dog Soldiers.

I often, while watching movies, say "there's something you don't see every day". It's great when someone on-screen says it too.

"Gift Shop" is hilarious.

Remember - when you hire Tim Curry, Brian Blessed or Malcolm McDowell, you get the beard for free!

Tough guys don't use Desert Eagles. They use Webleys.

I just saw a man get knocked out with a pheasant.

Since we all know fighter jets will still be functional after a thousand years of neglect, 25 years for a footballers' car is obviously no problem at all.

Good lord, now we're back to Mad Max again, except with a Frankie soundtrack. And there's a spiky Mark II Jag. And a black cab.

I'm surprised that this is the first time something exploded when it crashed. Oh, and there's the second time.

Ooh, that'll be the third.

Seven out of ten.