Yes, a battle-axe WILL do nicely!

Herewith, selected thoughts on finally getting around to watch "Doomsday". It's Neil Marshall's third big movie; he also did The Descent and Dog Soldiers.

In brief: Yes, this is indeed total nonsense, but awesome!

Some minor spoilers follow.

Righto, I'm watching a plague movie. Mmm, splatter!

Oh, no - this is Escape from New York, obviously.

I suppose if everything's going to hell, it's not a bad idea to have a genetically enhanced Prime Minister. (Could be better, could be worse.)

No, wait - now I'm watching Aliens.

No, no, hang on - it's Beyond Thunderdome. Leathers and feathers all over the shop.

I don't care what you say - I'll put Scottish post-apocalyptic lunatics up against the post-apocalyptic lunatics of any other nation you care to name.

When you see a bloke with a big dangly punk face decoration and you think, "you're not living in a society where hanging a handle off your face is a good idea, mate", and later on you're proven to be exactly right? Nice.

Honestly, I could go a bit of long pig right now. Yum.

As long as you're not trying to make Great Art, casting stunt-people in primary roles is an excellent idea.

OK, I'm officially shutting down my Nitpicking Cortex now. What I just saw were special post-apocalypse trail bikes, which are completely inaudible until they're six feet behind you. And it turns out to take about three seconds to get a steam locomotive going. And it's been a generation since anybody around here saw a dentist, but they've all got great teeth. And nobody knows how to make a crystal radio any more. And spy satellites will only spot the occasional individual wandering around, even if giant open-air cannibal raves are happening every night.

OK, really stopping with the nitpicks now.

Right, that's it, this whole movie has just been made worthwhile by its inclusion of a Flanders and Swann reference! "PEOPLE HAVE ALWAYS EATEN PEOPLE"!

Craig Conway's deranged yelling skills were clearly wasted when he was a mere, short-lived, "Camper" in Dog Soldiers.

I often, while watching movies, say "there's something you don't see every day". It's great when someone on-screen says it too.

"Gift Shop" is hilarious.

Remember - when you hire Tim Curry, Brian Blessed or Malcolm McDowell, you get the beard for free!

Tough guys don't use Desert Eagles. They use Webleys.

I just saw a man get knocked out with a pheasant.

Since we all know fighter jets will still be functional after a thousand years of neglect, 25 years for a footballers' car is obviously no problem at all.

Good lord, now we're back to Mad Max again, except with a Frankie soundtrack. And there's a spiky Mark II Jag. And a black cab.

I'm surprised that this is the first time something exploded when it crashed. Oh, and there's the second time.

Ooh, that'll be the third.

Seven out of ten.

Posted in Movies. 6 Comments »

6 Responses to “Yes, a battle-axe WILL do nicely!”

  1. creekin Says:

    whats with all the posts again? you get the sack? :p

  2. Matt W Says:

    This is exactly what we need in hard times. A complete load of tosh. Pass another beer.

  3. BMK Media Says:

    Just thought youd love this new ad on your ste.. not only can you lose 12 lbs in 2 weeks, it'll make you caucasuion at the same time!

    Saved Ad Img:

    Ad link Destination:

  4. Itsacon Says:

    I never knew you were part of the cast of Mystery Science Theater 3000...

  5. Daniel Rutter Says:

    If you haven't seen Dog Soldiers, by the way, I really must once again insist that you do.

    "Come and have a go, if you think you're hard enough!"

    (Excellent gag that I will not spoil immediately follows.)

  6. Legba Says:

    Ah, Dog Soldiers is such a goldmine of awesome and every self respecting b-grade movie buff must watch it. My favorate exchange goes something like:
    "What scares you then?"
    "The self destructive nature of the human condition"
    "Stop taking the piss"

Leave a Reply