Why, readers? Why do you do this to me?
Whenever some new stupid fuel-saving thing comes along, you all insist on e-mailing me about it, as if you think I enjoy this stuff or something.
One of the people who told me about this "Magic Power System Power Shift Bar" mentioned that it could be an automotive example of Poe's Law, which states that no matter how outrageous your parody of religious fundamentalism, someone will still mistake it for the real thing.
As Jalopnik said, this sold-on-eBay device does indeed have the sort of feature list that suggests that someone made it up on a dare:
This compact Power Shift Bar is an Intelligent Electric Tune-up Device, which will dramatically improve the power & reduce fuel consumption of your car. Just plug it into the lighter socket of your car and drive. It is used for any vehicles operated on 12V batteries.
- enhance fuel efficiency - saves gasoline (10-30%)
- increase engine torque - increase power (2-5ps)
- reduce car emissions - contribute to the environment unconsciously
- improve car audio sounds
- the small device cleans the entire car electrically including its body
Yep, that's right - this 35-quid gadget is supposed to clean your car, as well as give you more power from less fuel. I presume the next version will wax your car as well.
All this from a device which, I remind you, just plugs into the cigarette-lighter socket!
The eBay seller has a tidal wave of other car-tat on offer, but the rest of it isn't woo-woo - it's things like keychains, extra-wide rear-vision mirrors and tissue boxes with manufacturers' logos on them. I had to add a lot of minuses to my search to find just the Power Bars, but they do seem to be the only really nutty thing on offer there.
I also, however, found the Power Bar on sale here, along with a selection of other extremely plausible devices.
Things to swirl up your air flow. A carbon-fibre elbow for your air intake called a "ZERO 1000 POWER CHAMBER", which appears to be another swirly thing, though other sellers don't give any clue about this $250-plus device's alleged means of operation. (Zero 1000 apparently also sell a magnetic fuel-line thingy.)
Oh, and there's also something called the "AIR CHARGER Pro", which has a dial on it and apparently uses "NANO TECHNOLOGY" and is "MULTI ADJUSTABLE". I think it's one of those electric supercharger doodads, but it's kind of hard to tell.
(Real experts, of course, also use a Fuel Charger Pro, as endorsed by Some Dude On Geocities. Not to be confused with the mere Fuel Charger, which is of course a "solid state electrostatic fuel ionizer" which "was designed according to physics research conducted by Cal Tech for NASA's Jet Propulsion Labs". I think that one's meant to be an atomisation enhancer.)
13 November 2008 at 4:40 pm
I'm quite intrigued by what they've actually put in there. It's got to have something other than air so the customer doesn't feel ripped off. I wonder if it's just full of lead shot or if there's some useless electronics, like a big resistor.
13 November 2008 at 9:10 pm
My 67 year old father once told me a story. An aunt of his was dying from cancer, and the family got together and pooled their resources (I believe it was in the 50s) and purchased this device that was supposed to cure her. It was a largish box on a metal stand that she plugged in at night to bathe her in "electromatic" waves while she slept. after she died... just a few weeks after recieving this device Dad managed to get some time alone with the "electromatic" and his tool set. the box was just filled with a maze of wiring, most just soldered to the casing. This dosen't rise to that level of charlatinism, but it comes close. Thank you Dan for dealing with all of this for us.
13 November 2008 at 9:14 pm
Why do they do it? But Dan, obviously you love these things. Admit it. You have a collection of them. You probably have every single one of them installed on your car. Not only do you get great gas mileage, I bet gas actually pours OUT of your tank! The faster you go, the more gasoline you produce.
13 November 2008 at 9:17 pm
I don't understand why you mock such devices. I've just bought a whole bunch of those 12v cigarette lighter doublers (to run two devices from one socket) and I intend to stack them and then run as many of these MPS do-dads as I can afford. I'll be laughing all the way to the bank with my 2000bhp, zero emission car that I never need to fill with fuel again! Then you'll see my friend...
13 November 2008 at 9:17 pm
@evilspoons - it's full of belief, if you open it the belief escapes.
@Ziggyinc - at least it didn't electrocute her, it sounds like it wouldn't have been electrically safe.
Stealing from people with cancer is pretty hard to top, people like that should be stoned to death after having their balls slammed in a drawer.
13 November 2008 at 10:42 pm
I bet it attempts to charge the car's body up to a high potential.
13 November 2008 at 11:16 pm
With all the quotes you copied into this post, Dan, you're sure to get some interesting ads...
I agree that this had to have been a dare/bet. Can I be the next scammer? I've got a super-special keychain that digitally enhances the electromagnetic pulses passing through the ignition, smoothing out the voltage going to the spark plugs for more complete combustion! It'll make me millions!
14 November 2008 at 8:59 am
"Why, readers? Why do you do this to me?
Whenever some new stupid fuel-saving thing comes along, you all insist on e-mailing me about it, as if you think I enjoy this stuff or something."
Well, it might have something to do with the fact that you so enthusiastically post about them every time... :P
It's no longer in the ebay store, by the way.
14 November 2008 at 10:51 am
Ahh, Jalopnik. You never get old, do you?
Actually, while I'm on the subject, both blogs need more posts on rocket-powered utes...
18 November 2008 at 7:52 pm
isn't that an infinite improbability drive?