How to Spot a Psychopath

For years, it's been virtually impossible to buy Nerf guns here in Australia.

Giant pump-up water guns? No problem.

But guns that shoot sucker darts or foam balls? Not happening. You could go to a discount store and buy one of those crappy off-brand guns with the one-piece translucent rubber darts, but if you wanted something from one of the major brands, you were out of luck. Well, unless you were crazy enough to pay four times the purchase price for shipping from the States.

I presume this was because some pressure group or other convinced all of the toy shops that sucker dart guns were responsible for the Port Arthur massacre, or something.

But I'm happy to say that it's changing.

Why, just the other day, I successfully bought a few Nerf N-Strike Nite Finder EX-3s (one for my Toy Weapon Wall, the rest for the all-purpose Present Pile) for nine bucks a pop, on special at Kmart.

The Kmart catalogue promised that the much cooler Maverick six-shooter would also be on special, for only ten Australian dollars per unit.

But it was Kmart, so their stock as usual looked as if it'd been piled up by people with push brooms, and after you sorted through the mess you found that the thing you really wanted wasn't there.

Apparently Target stocks Mavericks as well, now - but the nearest Target store to me is more than forty kilometres away, while Kmart's just up the road.

[I've been there, now. They didn't bloody have any either.]

The EX-3's better than I thought it'd be. Surprisingly accurate, and the fake laser sight (a red LED with an adjustable lens in front of it) is cool, too. Like a proper laser sight, it turns on when you partially depress the trigger. Unlike a proper laser sight, children cannot damage their eyesight with it. And if you don't like it, you can just not put batteries in the gun.

I still definitely need a Maverick, though. I think I can survive without the celebrated Longshot sniper rifle, but I would also like the Buzz Bee lever-action rifle and totally awesome double-barrelled shotgun.

(Kmart had the Buzz Bee Tommy 20 battery-powered submachine gun for cheap, too, but video of it in action left me underwhelmed. I've got rubber-band guns for when I want to spend far more time reloading than shooting. And then there's this ridiculous thing.)

And yes, I'm aware that Nerf fans modify their guns for (much) greater power and accuracy, and apply amazing paint jobs. I can't be bothered with the painting, and would rather keep my toys safe for kids and drunks to use than crank 'em up by drilling out the air restrictors and installing an umbrella spring.

If you're one of those eBay dudes who sells pre-modded guns, though, do feel perfectly free to send me one for review!

You never know when a Nerf gun with a hundred-foot range may save your life, after all.