"Disco Duck," 1

Newspaper "formulae" for one thing or another have a terrible, and richly deserved, reputation.

But the formula for the Moby Quotient, whereby one may calculate "the degree to which artists besmirch their reputations when they lend their music to hawk products or companies", would be highly amusing even if the article about it hadn't been written by Bill Wyman.

(Regrettably, the Bill Wyman in question is this guy, not the famous metal detector fellow who once dabbled in music.)

6 Responses to “"Disco Duck," 1”

  1. MichaelWright Says:

    I think there's one thing wrong with that equation: the variable for artist's wealth is below the line (sorry, not too hot on the math terminology), which means the richer the artist, the lower the Moby Quotient -- which is surely wrong, no? Or do I misunderstand (always possible with equations)?

  2. omgror Says:

    This was all looking quite well worked, until I noticed he'd rated Justin Timberlake a 5 for artistic reputation. I have to seriously doubt this guy's judgement.

  3. shimavak Says:

    I did not even make it that far. It lost a bit when it reassigned the value of a popular transcendental number to 3.1417...

    All in all, quite funny.

    As for the richness of the artist being a reducing factor in the calculation, I think it is sensible. After all, you're not terribly surprised when someone incredibly rich just wants to become more so; but when it is your local punk band who can barely rub two dimes together and who is singing about global warming killing us all, and they sell a song to Hummer, it can be quite a bit more disconcerting.

  4. rho Says:

    THe best is when they clip CCR's "Fortunate Son" down to "Some people are born to wave the flag... Ooh, that red white and blue," in order to sell trucks or something. To take a clear protest song and turn it 180 degrees defines "evil marketing person".

  5. Daniel Rutter Says:

    "Fortunate Son" was used, with unironic patriotic flag-waving, in an ad for Wrangler jeans. But yeah, could have been pickup trucks. At least those jeans actually are made in the USA, just like Agent Orange and George W. Bush!

    But the calculator has a specific exception for people who don't actually own the songs any more, and that's the case with John Fogerty/CCR and "Fortunate Son". Likewise, Janis Joplin might well be justified in rising from the grave and throttling her sister with unstoppable bony fingers for selling "Mercedes Benz" to Mercedes-Benz (actually, I think Janis would just be so paralysed with laughter about it that she'd fall off her heavenly barstool), but that example doesn't count as an artistic sellout either.

    This is the subject that spawned a million blog posts, of course. Here's a neat little one.

  6. rho Says:

    I'd have a further comment, but your link demonstrated that I don't know the lyrics to "Fortunate Son" and therefore have no standing. Huh. I've always heard it "Ooh, that red, white and blue".

    Excuse me while I kiss this guy.

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