A company called Omni Consumer Products Medical Systems makes a product called the Advanced Mission Extender Device, or AMXD, for military aerospace applications.
At a glance, you'd think such a thing might be an external fuel tank or something. But it's actually, as anybody who's been reading recent News of the Weird coverage already knows, a bag for fighter pilots and the like to wee in.
OK, fair enough. Both male and female military aviators may find themselves strapped firmly into a seat for many, many hours, and coming up with a thing that both sexes can pee in when necessary during those hours, other than a big squishy horrible adult nappy, is not an easy task.
And the result has been the AMXD, which apparently carries a price tag of $US2000 per unit.
I was interested to see what the USAF and other worthies were actually getting for their money, and was pleased to discover that the AMXD manual is available for free download (PDF here).
The AMXD is so much more than a mere pee-bottle or Texas catheter.
It has a rechargeable battery (with the option of AAA alkalines)! A liquid crystal display! An inflatable cup and a "Female Pad" that's half sanitary napkin, half vacuum-cleaner attachment!
It even comes with special underpants - and male users can choose boxers or briefs!
The AMXD truly is a device with which no military-equiment aficionado should be unfamiliar.
Read the manual now, so you'll know how to work it when someone adds it to Falcon 4.0 or X-Plane. Surplus units will obviously soon be a must for the real-time simmer!
19 May 2008 at 3:10 am
for $2k, it'd want to be a bloody stillsuit, rather than this bottle-with-an-lcd-readout...
19 May 2008 at 4:34 am
Don't worry, we can expect to see a cheap clone of this in the "USB gadgets" cathe...gory of ThinkGeek in a few months.
19 May 2008 at 7:23 am
Rather more expensive than the civilian equivalent from aircraft spruce.
Humor aside, this actually seems pretty reasonable to me. Maybe not $2000 worth, but there's a real requirement for something more than a bottle, and it isn't entirely trivial.
19 May 2008 at 9:48 am
Like to see the movie?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iya1SnijuKI
19 May 2008 at 1:42 pm
Something tells me the chairforce would get a significant "discount" for buying them in bulk :P
That or they'd buy one, reverse engineer it, realise it isnt that complex a device and start outfitting the pilots with a cheaper version.
And unfunk youre onto something there.. maybe someone should work on a stillsuit for soldiers deployed in arid areas? it'd certainly be a hit.
20 May 2008 at 12:56 am
Uhhh This part sounds scary. (Page 18 highlighted in yellow ;)
"Make sure when seated in the ejection seat, the blue hole is located at the lowest point. This is crucial for the AMXD® System to function properly. It is very important that this be determined and tested on the ground, prior to flight."
Having to use the ejection seat and having your underwear or some body part ripped off because you did not put it on correctly would not be fun.
20 May 2008 at 3:51 am
I think the "blue hole must be at lowest point" item is due to the hose outlet for the pump unit being located there. If you don't get that hole in the right spot you get to sit in your own pee for the rest of the flight. Not fun. I suppose, if you are a skilled pilot, you could apply the appropraite flight manuevers to place the pee where the hole is but that seems like alot more work than just making sure it's at the low point to begin with.
20 May 2008 at 11:44 am
Stark? as in.. -the- Tony Stark? so I guess youve got new ideas for the next iteration of the suit :P
21 May 2008 at 2:41 am
Hehe... well... no. I am not Ironman. I'm just not the hero type. :P
And Stark has been my online moniker since before the WWW ever existed... and it had nothing to do with comic books. It started as more of a reputation I had as a youngster for being StarkRavingMad - but that gets to be a chore to type so it shrank to Stark. Which is good because age has mellowed me and I'm no longer raving mad. Mad, probably - Raving, not usually.