Spam-lessons update

Another of those thesaurusised porno spams arrived, with the puzzling subject line "lascivious yez Cyprians rmpp Masturbates!"

So now I know that "Cyprian" is not just an archaic word for a resident of Cyprus, but is also an old term for "a lewd or licentious person, esp. a prostitute".

It's not, I grant you, as useful a word as "catamite" for everyday abuse of the deserving, but it's diverting nonetheless.

(Modern definitions of "catamite" are a bit colourless, if you ask me. I much prefer the succinct old Oxford definition, "a sodomite's minion". The 1913 Webster's opted for "a boy kept for unnatural purposes", which left the details of the poor fellow's everyday life alarmingly hazy.)

The author of a different spam was pleased to inform me that after using certain suggestively-named pills for seven months, "now my shaft is extremely weightier than civil".

I think there's something in that for all of us, don't you?

4 Responses to “Spam-lessons update”

  1. andreask Says:

    LOL, always enlightening you.
    Btw, im missing your SupCom writings... stopped playing?

  2. Daniel Rutter Says:

    And just now, someone who "represents a deceased top company executive" has "a very sensitive and private brief for you to ask for your partnership to re-profile funds over $18,000,000.00 USD (Eighteen Million United State Dollars)", et cetera, et cetera.

    His stated name?

    Danny Glover!

    These poor West African dudes are such INCREDIBLE frickin' rubes. I mean, HOW do you manage to decide to call yourself "Danny Glover"? Did you think about "Axel Foley" and decide it didn't ring true? Was "Miles Dyson" too obscure?

    The hell with it! Call yourself "James Brown"!

  3. moetop Says:

    I think "James Earl Jones" would be better.

    Or maybe "Samuel Jackson" Snakes in your E-mail.

  4. corinoco Says:

    Personally, I enjoyed the fad from many years ago, when almost every spam came from 'Tyler Durden'. Mmmm, yes, that MUST be a legitimate email!

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