Osculate your Altair today!

Mystifying advertisement

I think the best part of this mystifying advertisement from the latest DailyWTF post is the bit at the top where it asks you if you've kissed your computer lately.

Years ago, when I was working at ACAR/PC Review, we somehow ended up with dozens of boxed copies of an accounting package called, and I assure you I am not making this up, "Tungkiss Your Money".

On the box was a moderately realistic picture of a man holding his hands, full of gold coins, up to his mouth, so he could lovingly lick the bullion.

Andrew, the editor, was pretty good at finding ways to convert randomness like this into profit, or at least perks.

But we never could shift all those Tungkiss Your Moneys.

11 Responses to “Osculate your Altair today!”

  1. evilspoons Says:

    Y'know, I'm extremely disappointed you (nor I) could find a picture to go with the description of the "Tungkiss" box art.

    In other news, is "tung" some kind of Aussie/other slang for "tongue" or were they just retarded?

  2. Daniel Rutter Says:

    No, it doesn't mean anything more in Australia than it does anywhere else in the English-speaking world.

    Perhaps the company that made the software was run by a Mr Tung or something; I don't remember.

  3. Red October Says:

    Could'a been worse, I suppose. I live right near Wang Towers. I will let that sink in. It is called Wang Towers. Wang Laboratories was one of the many, many tech firms that used to live in my area (With DEC probably being the most well-known). Their founder was Oriental, you see, a brilliant Doctor An Wang. His company is gone, (Like so many founded by a genius, once his vision was gone it foundered and died) but his influence is felt.

  4. phrantic Says:

    I used to own a Wang computer. I've always regretted not keeping it, if just to fill the case with a nintendo 64 or something.

  5. cfexrun Says:

    Wang. Piffle. I dare you to find a product that tops this-

  6. Chris L Says:

    They probably went out of business after the failed Tungkiss Anti-Virus.

  7. FuzzyPlushroom Says:

    Oh, man. I can't beat the Batter Blaster.

    Actually, one certainly could "beat the Batter Blaster".

  8. Ziggyinc Says:

    Lots of Wang on E-bay.... tho Tungkiss tho.

  9. Cokey Says:

    I'm surprised you didn't link to http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2000/12/27/ when you mentioned kissing your computer. :)

  10. Mark Cocquio Says:

    I can verify the existence of Tungkiss. I so wish one of us had kept a copy. That box art was brilliant.

    As for Wang... well "Wang Cares" was probably the worst thing their marketing people ever came up with for promotional t-shirts...

  11. Red October Says:

    Dr. Wang's legacy lives on in the Wang Center for the Performing Arts. In the US, at least, certain cell phone carriers support abbreviated dialing codes for popular numbers. The Wang center's code is "#WANG". Or as a commercial spoke it "Pound Wang" -causing my buddy Mike to crack up when something performed at the Wang center was advertised on the radio. Pound Wang indeed.

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