A walk on the weird side

27 April 2007 — dan

I have a strange relationship with the folk at Life Technology.

They sell a lot of things.

Every single one of those things is outrageously, hilariously fraudulent.

Seriously. Go and have a look. It's great.

I have mentioned Life Technology from time to time on dansdata.com, and the Life Technology people, who do not think like you and me, have as a result alternated between asking to buy ads, being very cross with me, and sending me press releases.

Like this one, which turned up the other day (spelling original; a few strange high-ASCII characters redacted):

HI DAN, WE THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE THIS

THE TESLA SHIELD™ HYPERSPACE VERSION 1.0
The Tesla Purple Ennergy Shield™ Hyperspace Version 1.0 is the most powerful and advanced Tesla Shield that we have created so far and has taken many months in design and beta testing. The Tesla Purple Energy Shield™ Hyperspace Version 1.0 incorporates all of the enhanced design and componentry characteristics of The Tesla Purple Energy Shield™ Ultra Advanced Version 1.0, but more importantly The Tesla PPurple Energy Shield™ Hyperspace Version 1.0 integrates an internal radionics struuctural link to a RAD 5 Radionics Machine running at full power at the Life Technology™ laboratories 24/7/365.

The RAD 5 Radionics Machine is a state of the art remote influence / transformational radionics machine designed by the esteemed quantum physicist and radionics technology pioneer Karl Welz of Hyperspace Communications Technologies International (www.hscti.com). The RAD 5 is undoubtedly the most sophisticated and powerful radionics machine available today. The integral radionics structural link enables The Tesla Purple Energy Shield™ Hyyperspace Version 1.0 to be permanently recharged by an unlimited source of subtle energy.

The upgraded internal componentry in synergy with the new integral structural link with the RAD 5 Radionics Machine enhances the subtle energy properties of The Tesla Purple Energy Shield™ Hyperspace Version 1.00 by a factor of up to x100. Incredibly, Thats one hundred times more power than the original Tesla Shield™ ! Life Technology™ can confidently assert thathat The Tesla Purple Energy Shield™ Hyperspace Version 1.0 is the most powerful and advannced personal transformational energy tool available anywhere today.

The Tesla Purple Energy Shield™ Hyperspace Version 1.0 is priceed at $299.95.

Ordering :
All variants of The Tesla Purple Energy Shield™ aare available through The Life Technology site at
http://www.lifetechnology.org/teslashield.htm

Whoo-ee. That ought to attract some really choice Google ads.

(But none for Life themselves - I've blocked their ads. There are plenty of other people happy to take your money to fool you into thinking their "radionic" devices do something useful, though, and I'm confident that some of them will be glad to advertise here.)

Life's products are modern updates of the potions and talismans I imagine travelling shamans selling to peasants in the Dark Ages. Some people are clearly happy to be counted as part of the filthy peasant demographic today, though, because stores like Life Technology's are quite numerous.

While Life's site is full of quantum this and electronic that (don't miss The Ultra Advanced Psychotronic Money Magnet™ EECS Version 1.0!), some of the promotional lingo hasn't changed for thousands of years.

Life Technology are, for instance, very much in favour of the modern "alchemy" movement, which has given rise to a marvellous substance called "White Powder Gold".

White Powder Gold resembles the actual conventional kind of gold in no way whatsoever, apparently because it is "monatomic", a quality not normally seen in solid substances. But have no fear, this monatomic gold is much better than regular old metallic gold. It's widely alleged to be very very good for whatever ails you.

Life's own version of the product comes with an entertainingly lengthy explanation of its origin and benefits, which I believe I can sum up as "it'll make you schizophrenic, but also immortal".

If you buy Life's monatomic gold in quantity it only costs about a third as much per gram as metallic gold (the Bush presidency has been good to the price of the kind of money that'll be useful after the collapse of civilisation...). Regrettably, however, the substance's stated "Philosopher's Stone" nature does not give it the ability to turn anything, including itself, into metallic gold.

(I note that the white-powder-gold enthusiasts have been repelled from the Wikipedia Philosopher's Stone article. Regrettably, the blinkered science-worshippers who rule Wikipedia with iron-fists-that-will-never-become-golden-fists have deleted the article that explained all about these Orbitally Rearranged Monatomic Elements, on the entirely unfair grounds that it was utter claptrap. This made someone very cross. But the video will not be silenced!!1!!one!)

[UPDATE: A few months later, Life Technology got back to me!]

Posted in Scams, Science, Spam, Strange Tales. 6 Comments »

Break the laws o' physics, win a prize

24 April 2007 — dan

Another Metafilter-inspired post, but at least this time I've got some comments in the thread.

Here in Australia, we've got a TV show called The New Inventors, which does not always do as much due diligence on the inventions they feature as they ought.

So, every now and then, something turns up on the show that sounds absolutely fantastic, and is therefore picked as the best invention of the three featured in that episode, and gets significant publicity as a result - but which is actually a scam.

I mention a couple of previous examples in this comment; any readers who watch the show more often than I do (those two examples turned me off it...) may be able to suggest others.

The Exhausted Air Recycling System has done very well for itself. It was named Invention of the Year for 2006.

The trouble is, it just doesn't make sense.

It's meant to be able to make air tools (which are notoriously inefficient) consume up to 80% less power, by routing exhaust air back to the compressor. But I, and others, can't see how this is possible without reducing tool power by exactly the amount you're apparently increasing efficiency.

My bullshit detector didn't trip the first time I saw the EARS - or the second, third or fourth, for that matter - because on the face of it, you'd think that it would be possible to take the above-atmospheric-pressure air coming out of an air tool and do something useful with it.

But now that I've thought about it some more, it seems quite clear that whatever you put on the outlet of the tool will restrict outgoing air flow, which will inescapably reduce the tool's power.

Other commenters on the Metafilter thread and elsewhere have gone on to express severe reservations about other aspects of the system, like for instance the fact that the return hose is the same narrow diameter tubing as the feed hose, despite the fact that the return has to handle a much larger volume of air, now that the pressure is lower.

[blinks innocently] Comments, anyone?

I doubt this'll end up being as much fun as the Firepower saga, but there still ought to be some entertainment to be had.

(The latest update on the Firepower story, by the way, is a good summary of the whole sordid story.)

Posted in Machinery, Scams, Science. 10 Comments »

How about "electronic Viagra"?

24 April 2007 — dan

I have little to add to this Techdirt piece on the recent widely-forwarded Independent article concerning "electronic smog" (another triumph of science journalism!). Given that the article itself admits that there is not any evidence that this "smog" is in fact harmful (or has any effect at all on anybody), I humbly submit that one might equally justifiably call it "electronic vitamin C", while one is waiting for evidence of effect to arrive.

(Ben Goldacre's been catching abuse for a year or so now as a result of his clearly inhuman and evil view that people who believe electromagnetic "pollution" is making them ill have real symptoms, but are incorrect about the cause. For some reason, it's hard to find similar pressure groups who believe that people who hear voices should be provided with earplugs.)

Posted in Electricity, Scams, Science. 5 Comments »

The crap I have to deal with

27 March 2007 — dan

I just received the following:

Date: Mon, 26 Mar 2007 11:32:33 -0700 (PDT)
From: Rick Head
Subject: Big Money for your Endorsement
To: dan@dansdata.com

I want my site for my electric supercharger reviewed on your site, specifically for the "volt and amps reveiwed" section of http://www.dansdata.com/danletters105.htm
* If you can put a two line statement that approves of my product and has my link, I would be happy to throw $500 dollars your way. Let me know if this is a possibility, my site is http://www.electricchargers.com and my e-mail is stventures55@yahoo.com

I wonder if his name's actually Richard Head. The domain's registered to a "Jesse Bushong".

Never mind - Dick Head is a great name for him. There's your link, Dick! For free! Enjoy!

As I explain on the page where Dick for some reason wants an ad (but which he clearly didn't read - he didn't even get the title of the letter right), devices like his are a big old waste of money.

They may - may - add a few per cent to your car's power, over at least some of the rev range (less and less as the engine turns faster and faster). But the very fact that you can just bolt these things on and drive away without messing with your engine management system indicates that nothing much is happening. If you add any real forced induction system to a modern car, it'll freak out the engine electronics.

Dick is, to be fair, only charging $US99.95 plus shipping for his fan, versus the $US300 or so that you can easily pay for what appears to be much the same thing from bolder dealers. But hey, who knows; it's not as if Dick even provides any specifications for the device in question. There could be a computer fan in there for all I know.

It doesn't really matter either way. Pretty much anything that runs directly from 12 volts isn't going to be powerful enough to noticeably boost any current automotive engine. You just can't suck enough amps out of a normal car's electrical system - for a proper electric supercharger you need 24V or higher power (to keep the current down), from separate batteries.

(The scam-warning page I link to above, by the way, is from these people, whose $10 electro-charger plans sound quite plausible. You can tell, because there's work involved.)

Oh, and Dick also offers you the amazing chance to "receive another 20HP" by buying a new ECU chip to go with your similarly useless electric blower! What a deal!

And so, here's my endorsement:

Shoreline Technologies' electric supercharger is not "the only quality Supercharger on the net". It is one among many, and all of the simple bolt-on versions are pretty much a scam.

Shoreline seem to know this, and so seek to promote their products not by proving that they actually work, but by bribing people to endorse them.

(Oh, and by using forum spam. Classy!)

Shoreline's attempt to pay me off suggests to me that they are either unable to read, or simply under the impression that everybody is as dishonest as they are.

Do not buy their products.

(I am, of course, still perfectly happy to receive donations from Dick, or anyone else. I encourage anybody who's impressed by my honesty to shower me with riches forthwith.)

Posted in Cars, Scams, Spam. 10 Comments »

The 7/8-scale Chevrolet, and other stories

26 March 2007 — dan

On cheating in motorsport.

Water-filled tyres, five-gallon fuel lines, wafer-thin body panels, nitromethane boiling out of the engine oil and into the air intake, cars that can run just fine when their engine isn't meant to be able to get any air at all, and apparently pretty much everything Smokey Yunick ever did.

If you're not doing something that makes them change the rules next year, you'd better be doing something that at least forces them to clarify them. Angrily.

Posted in Cars, Humour, Scams, Strange Tales. 2 Comments »

Upadat Yout Account!!1!

10 March 2007 — dan

Behold, the most screwed-up spam I have received so far this month.

(Frankly, I'm surprised that I only got two copies of it.)

Yes, this is just another one of those situations where some dork pasted the wrong block of data into the forms on his Ez-E-Spam 2000 software (or it had a buffer overflow, or something). But I actually found it interesting beyond that, for the insights it provides into the quality of the e-mail lists being used by the modern professional phisher.

There are some pretty awesome domains in there, but there are also lots of obviously malformed addresses, mailing list addresses, specialist administrative addresses, inquiry addresses for major organisations (PayPal, General Electric and the IRS aren't too likely to fall for your phishing scam, dude), addresses at anti-phishing organisations...

This list is like a grease trap that hasn't been cleaned since 1952.

Enjoy.

Received: from server1.coopicol.aero [65.61.161.25] by sterling.securesupport.ws with ESMTP
(SMTPD32-7.07) id AB84D5800D0; Fri, 09 Mar 2007 17:36:04 -0800
Received: (from apache@localhost)
by server1.coopicol.aero (8.11.6/8.11.6) id l2A1TJ124778;
Fri, 9 Mar 2007 19:29:19 -0600
Date: Fri, 9 Mar 2007 19:29:19 -0600
Message-Id: <200703100129.l2A1TJ124778@server1.coopicol.aero>
To: dan@dansdata.com
Subject: <service@bankofamerica.com>
From: Upadat Yout Account <service@bankofamerica.com>
Reply-To: Upadat Yout Account@server1.coopicol.aero

no.reply@paypal.com
service@paypal.com
curity@PayPal.com
dev@lists.xml.org
zjdzaoveykwuqz@mail15.com
security@suse.com
XXX@wiu.edu
translators@lists.oasis-open.org
lampadas@en.tldp.org
discuss@en.tldp.org
VTURL@YAHOO.COM
victim@phishery.internetdefence.net
service@email.paypal.com
devel@lists.alioth.debian.org
paypal@email.paypal.com
st0o0o0n@gmail.com
cbef@hotmail.com
your@email.com
binc@bincimap.org
payments@mysite.com
company@adaptavist.com
Bob@charity.org
ariadne@ariadnescrown.com
pay@eatsprouts.com
laptopseller@yahoo.com
marapets@gmail.com
appeal1@intl.paypal.com
support@w3matter.com
paypal@creative.com
webmaster@auctionessentials4u.com
moskscent228@comcast.net
dan@dansdata.com
performingarts@internet2.edu
3CNEBBKBPMKLDHOMCAOODAGEOLCPAA.mpetres@rogers.com
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watpa@westnet.com
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dalgal@swbell.net
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ctl@m17n.org
ip_address@cnuninet.com
L@PEACH.EAS
announce@jaxen.codehaus.org
randy@kbcafe.com
hollow@gentoo.org
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owner@bergmans.us
woodybang@rmwaterfowl.com
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youremail@yourdomain.co
qzqslhplqomjrs@yahoo.com
[The address of some guy called Rogelio who has a poor understanding of cause and effect and believes he gets spam because his address was listed here. Failing to persuade me to his point of view, he started complaining to Blogsome, so now his address isn't here any more.]
NBBBJJHMEOLIMKIKIOMJCEOBOHAA.hblair@hotfootmail.com
rah@ibuc.com
craigolaphoto@msn.com
merch@thespaceshipblues.com
nocat@pez.oreillynet.com
service@rtgasia.org
clinkers@hotmail.com
order@example.com
xxxxxx@mac.com
briggsb@bbspot.com
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jlscott@i-Cop.org
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nlarson@pacbell.net
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nhaw@vzones.com
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freehelp@pcin.net
project@artisticrenderings.com
CoolingMan@TrustforConservationInnovation.org
service@IRS.gov
zman59@earthlink.net
Divalea@gmail.com
specials@servenet.com
charrison@email.itt.tech.edu
payserver@yahoo.co.uk
meine_bank@deutschebanc.de
ebay2@netpreneurnow.com
1@admin.listbox.com
info@oldprintshop.com
lettersmailbox@economist.com
ole@pacbell.net
paypal@zenvids.com
hypnosispower@yahoo.net
bestofthenet@po.databack.com
nobody@cn4.chaosnetworks.net
malcolm@legendarysurfers.com
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amana@hal-pc.org
sales@frontlineet.com
zhongguo_xuefeng@yahoo.com.cn
exlibris@library.berkeley.edu
dfarren@concentric.net
www@gentoo.org
jtoon@woot.com
bigsurtruck@aol.com
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corrections@maxminka.com
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rmiller@duskglow.com
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bdsfj@anonymous.to
sam@pigpog.com
ayport@berk.com
bayport@berk.com
nij@ct.heise.de
colavito@pcissues.com
paul@linuxaudiosystems.com
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skroudo@yahoo.com
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cs@electronicspecialtyproducts.com
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melissa.zhao@kbsoon.com
info@fools.ca
austinspitstop@yahoo.com
beckydarron@bellsouth.net
acousticgirl01@hotmail.com
tim@uberculture.org
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list@optigold.com
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ericjpp@gmail.com
blueeagle24_7@yahoo.com
auctio@ncbr.org
possibilities@willmaster.com
ter02@newnorth.net
tommosher@gmail.com
litttledogangel2@animail.net
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paypal@myst-technology.com
klognews@myst-technology.com
info@caramoo.com
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x@deekayen.net
bernard_lee015@yahoo.co.uk
cgamesplay@gmail.com
xxxx@xxxx.com
jonathan@jonathan-clark.com
karl@carls-cars.com
hope@usa.com
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chrispodell@gmail.com
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michelle@msoart.com
m.hammad@comcast.net
arika@sunlotus.com
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danbutler@TheNakedPC.com
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info@dot-art.co.uk
swarm@swarm.org
rugbymark28@yahoo.com
carrie@tape.com
nick@narkov.com
toppopularstore@yahoo.com
nyc@owasp.org
links@thecrossovertv.com
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pam@rocketboots.com
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jon@tinderboxmusic.com
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some_email@address.com
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www.salvationarmyonline@yahoo.com
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joventresca@comcast.net
stewwebb@sierranv.net
AMusik@MOMtrepreneurs.com
unpluggedpodcast@gmail.com
NFBBLKJFMDDCMJKBDJMAAENDCDAA.rob@tconsult.com
vuldb@securityfocus.com
clousephoto@bellsouth.net
vfx@dfpug.de
zx@castlecops.com
robert@bluedynamics.com
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mikefinucane1975@msn.com
jessica@superjessica.com
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paypalhelper@aol.com
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spoof@ebay.com
help@jakarta.apache.org
sales@frankkozik.net
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admin@anonix.net
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info@econnoisseur.com
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Posted in Scams, Spam. Leave a Comment »

Further advances in quackery

5 March 2007 — dan

Apparently "NeuView Glasses", a pair of sunglasses with little side-blinkers that can be selectively raised out of your field of view, are able to "initiate a profound and positive neurological event". They thereby cause a number of fuzzily described but wonderful things to happen. Just having a light shone at you from the appropriate side of your head will not work. Don't ask why not.

This is all based on the extremely sciencey Thought Field Therapy, with lashings of left-brain/right-brain pseudoscience.

The vendors of these marvellous devices (only $US67.50 plus shipping!) respectfully request that you not raise the subject of Peril Sensitive Sunglasses, no matter how much their product reminds you of them.

(Oh, and the target market for these things is alleged to be "everyone". Hey, blind people! You're nobody!)

Coincidentally, I just bought myself a (cheap) pair of pinhole glasses on eBay. Not because I think they're actually good for anything in particular ("Pinhole glasses - they're better than squinting!" is as much of a sales pitch as you can come up with for them without lying), but because they're a neat optical curiosity to add to my collection, along with the prism glasses (similar to these ones) and the IR goggles.

(I haven't quite made it to pseudoscope territory yet.)

Posted in Scams, Science. Leave a Comment »

Moonshine

2 March 2007 — dan

"A giant moonbeam reflector may shine away depression" is the title of a widely-linked recent Popular Science piece, about one Richard Chapin and his colossal array of allegedly therapeutic moon-mirrors.

Go and read it. It's worth it just for the picture, which makes clear that this thing could probably cook a whole cow pretty fast during the day.

Shining away depression reminds me of good-byeing it, which is cheering. But the piece itself, and the people talking about it, are as usual contributing to my depression by being impressively uninformed.

Oh, and by encouraging sick and desperate people to trek out into the Arizonan desert to be bathed in purest placebo, rather than doing (a) something that might actually impede the progress of their disease or (b) something more fun.

Yes, the moonbeam reflector is just silly on its face; strange ideas about moonlight are, in an etymologically deterministic sort of way, quite popular among lunatics. But Popular Science, at least, should have run their article past someone with a high school science education, so they wouldn't say stupid things like "moonlight's frequency and spectrum are unique".

Well, yes, moonlight does have a unique spectrum, in the sense that sunlight that bounces off anything has a unique spectrum. Sunlight that bounces off my foot today has a different spectrum from sunlight that bounced off my foot yesterday. Just not very different.

What "frequency" is supposed to mean in this context, though, is entirely beyond me. By definition, something with a "spectrum" does not have one frequency.

And if you take the "unique spectrum" to mean that there's anything very interesting about the spectrum of moonlight, you're wrong. For the wavelengths normal mirrors can reflect, moonlight's spectrum is essentially the same as that of sunlight bouncing off any other grey rock. It's not as if the moon has an atmosphere that absorbs certain wavebands, after all. Moonlight is a plain old continuous spectrum, mildly polarised by reflection (but not polarised any more by reflection from the mirrors, since metallic surfaces do not polarise reflected light).

This is mentioned in passing here. Also, it stands to bloody reason. The moon is just a lot of grey rocks, for God's sake. It's like the world's biggest camera-calibrating grey card, though rather darker than the usual 18%.

(Although, actually, the moon's average full-moon 12%-ish albedo really does nicely match what many light meters are apparently calibrated for. Regrettably, you can't really carry the moon around with you, and people don't take a lot of sunlight-exposure photos when the full moon is visible.)

It's not very scientific to point out that long exposure colour photographs taken by moonlight look very much like short exposure photos taken by sunlight, but I might as well throw that in too, since I quite like this one I took...

Three Sisters apparently not by night

...at 0238 hours on a full-moon morning.

There is, to be fair, a bit more to moon reflections than that. The albedo of airless rocky bodies is more complex than that of a piece of grey cardboard, as is explained in detail here. But I don't think any of this was news to astronomers 200 years ago, though they would doubtless recognise a big array of light-concentrating mirrors as being akin to the coloured light therapy that had been in use, worthlessly, for many centuries before. The invention of electric light reinvigorated this branch of quackery.

Like every good crackpot, Richard Chapin has a patent, which explains the details of his invention far better than any news piece is likely to.

Posted in Scams, Science, Strange Tales. 3 Comments »
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