Falling from the friendly skies

How did Felix Baumgartner break the sound barrier by falling? I've always thought there was some kind of maximum velocity because of drag, even for someone trying to minimize it, in the vicinity of 200km/h.... Is this simply because the atmosphere is sparser up there? (Which would explain the bother about getting 42km off the ground when the max speed is reached after 40 sec.)

In the same vein, to what extent could an astronaut bail out of the ISS, Kursk-style?

Florian

(Everybody's seen the real video.)

The usually-quoted human terminal velocity - as you say, around 200 km/h for a skydiver in "star" pose, well over 300 km/h for a skydiver in a head-down pose with limbs tucked in - applies only to normal skydives, which don't start at such a high altitude that the divers even need supplementary oxygen, much less an actual pressure suit.

15,000 feet (about 4.6 kilometres) is a high jump altitude for a recreational skydiver. At that altitude atmospheric pressure is still above 50% of what it is at sea level. Unacclimated people won't be able to get much done at that pressure and will probably start feeling pretty miserable if they stay there for a long time, but if you're just sitting in a perfectly good aeroplane out of which you shortly intend to jump, it's not a huge problem.

5,000 feet (about 1.5 kilometres) is a much commoner skydiving altitude. At that altitude you've still got 80% of sea-level air pressure. The excitement of the impending jump will have much more effect on you, at that pressure, than the thinning of the air.

EDIT: As per ix's comment below, 13,000 feet is actually quite a common skydiving altitude for, as arkikol's comment explains, regulatory-loophole reasons.

(Katoomba, where I live, is about a kilometre above sea level, which is high for Australia; this country's pretty geologically inactive, so for a very long time erosion's been wearing the mountains down and nothing's been pushing them up. A thousand metres is still enough to drop atmospheric pressure to about 87% of that at sea level, though. I therefore get a very mild sort of altitude training any time I go to the shops, or take Alice the Wonder Dog, who needs more exercise than our friends who own her can quite manage to supply, for a walk.)

You need a pressure suit above the "Armstrong limit" (named for Harry George Armstrong, not Neil), which is the pressure where water boils at human body temperature. There is no way to survive for more than a minute or three above the Armstrong Limit, even if you've got pure oxygen to breathe.

The Armstrong limit is around 19.2 kilometres (about 63,000 feet above sea level, 2.2 Mount Everests), depending on the weather. Felix Baumgartner's Red Bull Stratos dive started from a little more than 39 kilometres above sea level.

At that altitude, the air pressure is about four thousandths of an atmosphere. That's 3.9 hectopascals, or 0.056 pounds per square inch. A home experimenter would be pretty pleased to own a mechanical vacuum pump able to pump down that low.

When the air is this tenuous, there is obviously not much air resistance to slow down a falling body. The terminal velocity of a skydiver (or a feather pillow, for that matter) will thus be far higher than it is for a human falling at normal skydiving altitudes.

The speed of sound in a gas, including air, depends on the gas's density, pressure and temperature. For the earth's atmosphere, this results in a rather odd variation of sound-speed with altitude, conveniently displayed in this graph I just ripped off from Wikipedia:

Speed of sound vs altitude

You can see that temperature is the major factor - the shape of the blue speed-of-sound line closely matches that of the red temperature line. This is because density and pressure decrease together with altitude, and cancel each other out.

You can also see, once again, that at 39 kilometres up where Baumgartner's dive started, there ain't much air left at all. The higher you go, the more perverse it therefore becomes to be concerned about the speed of sound at all, from the point of view of a skydiver.

Breaking the sound barrier at "normal" altitudes is a big deal. Even aircraft that only want to come vaguely close to the speed of sound, like jumbo jets, need special design features to prevent alarming things happening when they get above about Mach 0.75.

("Alarming things" include stuff like "the controls not working any more". Quite a lot of World War II airmen lost their lives when a power-dive pushed them fast enough that air was passing over certain parts of their aircraft at transonic speed. Some aircraft designs also helpfully went into a dive all by themselves if flown too fast.)

When the air's so thin that a paper plane would drop like a rock, though, all the same transonic shockwave stuff may be happening, but the forces involved are too feeble to worry about.

So yes, Baumgartner broke the speed of sound, but it wasn't that big a deal, because he was starting from so high up that he would probably have fallen at least a couple of hundred metres per second even if he'd opened his parachute the moment he jumped.

OK, on to bailing out from the International Space Station. This is problematic.

The ISS is in orbit, so if you jump out of it, you'll just be in orbit too. Whatever relative velocity you can give yourself with your legs will not be enough to make a significant difference. In order to actually fall into the atmosphere, you'll have to kill some of your orbital velocity with some sort of thruster - this is how spacecraft "de-orbit".

Let's presume you have a magical reactionless thruster doodad that lets you bring yourself to a halt relative to the surface of the earth directly beneath you, just as if you'd jumped out of a balloon that'd somehow made it to the ISS's altitude. Presumably you planned to further employ your reactionless lift belt or boots or whatever to float down majestically at whatever speed you wanted. But when you pressed the button to kill your orbital momentum, the device burned out, and now you're falling.

The ISS's low Earth orbit is about 400 kilometres above sea level. At that altitude, there's still enough of a trace of atmosphere to cause the ISS's orbit to decay by a couple of kilometres per month, so it requires frequent "reboosting" to stop it falling into the ocean ahead of schedule. From the point of view of someone who just told his fellow cosmonauts that he's just going outside and might be some time, though, it's a vacuum at 400 kilometres.

Low earth orbit is high enough that the Earth's gravity is somewhat attenuated, but only from about 9.8 metres per second squared to about 9.0.

So, starting at 400 kilometres and accelerating at nine metres per second per second, with both gravity and air density slowly rising as you fall. I don't know exactly how this'd work out, but I think that by the time you'd fallen 300 kilometres and passed the 100-kilometres arbitrary "start of space" altitude, you'd be falling at about 2.5 kilometres per second.

That's a pretty darn impressive speed, but it's much more manageable than actual orbital velocity. The ISS's orbital velocity is about seven kilometres per second; when the Shuttle Columbia broke up into flaming particles, it had managed to slow down to around six kilometres per second. Since energy increases with the square of the speed, an object travelling at seven kilometres per second that's trying to slow down has 7.8 times as much energy to get rid of as one travelling at 2.5 km/s.

2.5 km/s at a hundred kilometres altitude would probably be survivable, perhaps with some sort of ribbon parachute or similar drag device to bleed off speed steadily as the air got thicker.

But all of this is a bit silly, because it assumes that you've somehow managed to get rid of the several kilometres per second of your initial orbital velocity. That, there, is the big problem. If an orbiting spacecraft had enough reaction mass to kill its orbital velocity while it was still in space, it could then use wings or pop a gigantic parachute or three and sail down quite serenely, with no need for troublesome heat shields at all.

(This is why the Virgin SpaceShipOne and Two don't need heat shields. They're suborbital spaceplanes, not "real" spacecraft. They go very high by aircraft standards, then they fall back down again, never gaining or having to dispose of actual orbital velocity.)


Psycho Science is a regular feature here. Ask me your science questions, and I'll answer them. Probably.

And then commenters will, I hope, correct at least the most obvious flaws in my answer.

One Million Internet Years B.C.

A reader writes:

I'd like to begin a grant process, said grant being to excavate the ruins I recently found at

http://www.dansdata.com/personal/index.html

I've been keeping a lazy eye on your site for a while now, never realizing that it was literally built over the top of an older civilization. It was fascinating to briefly visit, and compare the modern versus ancient artwork and architecture.

_

[yes, this correspondent's name is an underscore. I would have rendered it "_", but that looks like some kind of emoticon]

I started Dan's Data in late 1998. That small collection of earlier Web pages started in 1997, and couch-surfed for hosting on a semi-random series of servers, ending up on dansdata.com in 2002.

Back in the Nineties, this sort of thing was topical humour:

No frames No applets Fake award 1 Fake award 2 Fake award 3

There are still a few things of interest in my old personal pages, even if you're not interested in sixteen-year-old IT journalism, globular felines or my sad story about a dead cat.

The sparkler-bomb page, for instance, becomes popular in early July every year. The pictures on that page and this one are all video-grabs, because it was so long ago that I didn't own a digital camera yet. Here's some video, though:

And then there's the nitrous oxide pages (see also), my old R/C toys, and my original interaction with Harmonic Energy Products and their...

EMPower Modulator

..."EMPower Modulator" universal electronic magic Good For What Ails You device. (Years later, I got a chance to look inside one, and found pretty much what you'd expect from these sorts of products.)

A big part of the evidence for the Modulator's effectiveness in curing everything from allergies to rainy days came from an electrodiagnostic device called the "Omega Acubase", an enthusiast about which was not at all happy with me.

Harmonic Products tossed a few more of these legal cotton-balls at me and others. This gave me my first experience of lawsuit threats from cranks, various others of which I have been delighted to receive, and/or talk about, over the years.

I think my little list of quotes has stood up quite well, too.

MAKING money for nothing and FINDING chicks for free

In the comments to my post about people who think that all I do is beg for money on the Internet, Fallingwater asked:

Do you think a single, low-expense person can actually, really make a living with a site such as yours in 2012? I'm talking referrals, sponsorships and such, not living off donations (not that I'd mind, but I think you'd need a Wikipedia-like amount of readers, and possibly Jimmy Wales' creepy face, to pull that off).

I think you definitely can, even without staring into the soul of everybody who visits one of the most popular Web sites ever.

(Should I decide to try that, I would of course use...

Daniel B. Nosemonster

...this picture.)

That doesn't mean it's easy to make money with a Web site these days, though.

The main problem is that there's no way for a review site or similar enterprise to make a decent amount of money from the beginning. If it's a review site, every review can make you a small but non-trivial amount of money for the first week or so of its life, and then long-tail off into cents per day. But if you've got a thousand pages each making you 15 cents a day, you'll be doing OK. When you've only made it to the 50-page mark, though, you could easily be grossing no more than 25 bucks a day, which ain't gonna pay the rent in most of the Western world.

If you're in Africa or eastern Europe or something then this could of course still be a very workable proposition, but making affiliate deals with local businesses, generally on a per-sale basis, is a major way for small sites to get going, and local businesses in Uganda have a lot less money to throw around. There may also be major obstacles to getting money from richer countries sent to you in a poor one; I don't know.

I have always had it very easy. This is partly because I was smarter with my money during the dot-com nonsense than some of my friends. (Shiny new car and inner-city apartment? Nope, I'll go with rusty used car and living with mum, thanks. I did blow a surprising amount of money on this toy, though - brushless motors were EXOTIC back then.)

My easy ride was also partly because I for some reason am good at writing, and at understanding computers.

(I think Michael Bywater was partly responsible for this. He wrote the computer column in Punch in the eighties, giving me the chance to read comedic writing about Lotus 1-2-3 when I was a small child with absolutely no understanding of what this software actually did, but he also anonymously wrote the gonzo-ish "Bargepole" column, which I also didn't really understand but which connected some of my neurons in quite novel ways.)

I've had it so easy mainly because I was lucky, in the abstract sense of being born white and male in a rich country, and in the less abstract sense of just having job opportunities fall in my lap. The small publisher that was my first gig turned out to be based walking distance from my house (or, more accurately, from my mum's house), and my fairly brief gig with the Dark Lord Murdoch came via a headhunter. I think I had to ask one or two magazines to let me write for them, but mainly they asked me.

You don't need this sort of implausible good fortune to make a Web site that makes a modest but live-on-able amount of money, but you do need a way to ride out the period of time while you make the site big and well-known enough for that income to build.

To do this, presuming you're not already wealthy or a kid living at home, you need to start the site as a hobby in parallel with a real job. Preferably the kind of real job that lets you sneakily work on your Web site while you're there, which can actually be done legitimately if you're a parking-station attendant or late-night petrol-station cashier or something, so a significant portion of your job description is "sit right there, and remain awake".

You also, of course, have to come up with some sort of idea for your site that can make money. The mass affiliate deals like Amazon or eBay are unlikely to be adequate, even if you do loathsome Sell Sell Sell stuff, as described in books that use the word "monetize". You need more direct deals with advertisers and retailers to make it work, as I did with Dan's Data and Aus PC Market. I made decent money when I reviewed Aus PC products; I made not much when I reviewed stuff from elsewhere. (And no, I didn't sell the free review product when I was done.)

Because of this, Dan's Data does not make me much money these days, because I burned out on reviewing computer gear years ago, and Aus PC gear reviews were my principal money source. If I were still writing about cases and CPU coolers and monitors all the time then Dan's Data would by itself still make me a passable living, but I just couldn't face another PSU or video card after a while, so now Dan's Data makes pocket-money only.

If you can start a site that covers some niche that (a) isn't already utterly saturated with high-quality journalism (or whatever you plan to do) already, and (b) lets you hook up with a business or three for mutual benefit, you absolutely can still start and run a Web site for a living.

Hell, if you're good enough you can even make adequate money from plain old ads; that's how the superlative Rock, Paper, Shotgun works. They accept donations as well, but I only now discovered that, since their donation page is harder to find than my cunning combined e-mail/donation scheme.

(I think the excellence of Rock, Paper, Shotgun and numerous other big game-review sites qualifies that market as "utterly saturated with high-quality journalism"; I wouldn't pin too much hope on a new game-review site making its owner much money these days. If you write good stuff, though, you can at least count on sites like Rock, Paper, Shotgun and news sites like the extremely venerable Blue's News to link to you fairly often. Starting a site that competes with Blue's News, Slashdot and other news sites that've all been taking body blows just from direct review-site RSS feeds a while ago, then Digg and now Reddit is, needless to say, not likely to be an express train to boundless wealth.)

It might cause some damage to the pinsetter

Modern industrial society has provided us with numerous nicely standardised massive objects. Batteries. Golf balls. Beer cans (consume beverage, re-fill with concrete).

And bowling balls.

They're really just asking for it, aren't they?

These bowling-ball and beer-can mortars are being demonstrated during either a very determined celebration of the Second Amendment to the United States Constitution, or the Battle of Stalingrad.

I find it hard to believe that the person who designed this one's ignition system was sober at the time. (Questions may also be asked about anybody who stands calmly in front of the muzzle.)

At lest they didn't shoot it straight up, though.

(I suppose if that's good enough for the anvil shooters...)

The alarming noises at 1:35 of this video may just be the bowling ball's finger-holes whistling as it spins. Or perhaps the whole thing shattered into a shrieking cloud of polyester shrapnel.

A bit long-winded, but some physics calculations at the end.

The 2011 MythBusters bowling-ball cannon would probably have had similar explanations...

...had this not happened.

Fellow Discovery Channel program American Guns did it in a somewhat less highbrow manner.

And now for something almost completely different:

The Canon "Check Engine" light

"Error 99" strikes fear into the heart of people with Canon digital SLR cameras. It's a catch-all error which has a large number of possible causes, and my old EOS-20D...

Canon 20D with fisheye lens

...here depicted with a silly lens and...

Ridiculous camera rig

...here trying to retain some self-respect, started Error-99-ing from time to time a couple of years ago.

The error usually went away if I turned the camera off and on again, so I just lived with it for a while. Then it started happening all the damn time, every few pictures, so I scraped together some spare pennies and got myself an EOS-60D, which is very nice - shoots video, far better screen on the back, high-ISO improvements, et cetera.

Not long after the 60D (not to be confused with the EOS-D60, from eight years earlier, when $AU2000 was a low price for a DSLR) arrived, my 20D completely failed. Every attempt at a shot now produced the dreaded flashing "Err 99" on viewfinder and top display.

I always meant to try to get to the bottom of the error, though, and just now I got around to doing it.

There are many, many sites, like to pick one at random this one, that tell you Error 99 happens when the contacts on your lens and/or the matching contacts on the camera are dirty. Or perhaps it's your battery terminals that're dirty. This may be the case, and is at least easy to remedy with a pencil eraser or a dab of metal polish. But Error 99 really is a fall-through error that just means "something outside the other error codes listed,...

EOS-60D manual error table

...and magnificently clearly explained, in the manual".

In my case, Error 99 definitely wasn't happening because of dirty lens contacts, because the error still happened when there was no lens on the camera at all.

When I actually sat down to seriously diagnose the problem, it didn't take long. I found this excellent article at LensRentals.com, that talks about the many, many possible reasons for Error 99, and the many, many myths and legends concerning it. Some are very difficult for a home user to fix, like dead drive motors, or circuit-board stuff requiring surface-mount rework on extremely cramped electronics. If that was the problem, Canon could fix it for me, but only for about the price of a new(er) 20D on eBay, so I might as well toss the wretched thing and get a new one. Which is of course essentially what I've already done.

Aaaaanyway, I scanned the LensRentals Common Causes page, skipped the stuff mortals can't fix, and decided to see if a stuck shutter was the problem.

And lo, it was. (Which was good, because diagnosis of some Error 99s can be... time-consuming.)

To diagnose this, once you've established that the error happens without a lens, go to the Sensor Clean option in the camera menu and select it. (Modern DSLRs from Canon and some other manufacturers clean at least some dust off their sensors with a little ultrasonic shaker thing. In older cameras like the 20D, "Sensor Clean" just flips up the mirror and opens the shutter, so you can whip out the wire brush and pressure washer and clean the sensor yourself.)

With sensor-clean mode activated, just remove the lens if there's one on the camera, and look into the camera through the lens-mount ring. If you see the shiny sensor, the shutter is OK, or at least managed to open this time. If you see the matte-black shutter curtain, then there's your problem. And that's what I saw.

I poked the closed shutter curtain's segments around a little with a cotton bud - as with ordinary sensor cleaning, this made me feel like a gorilla trying to build a ship in a bottle, or possibly like a Caucasian who's too damn tall - and then removed the battery from the camera. With this problem, that's the only way to get a 20D, at least, back out of sensor-clean mode; just turning the camera off won't work, because the camera is still stuck at the "open the shutter" stage of the sensor-clean process.

Battery back in, camera back on, down went the mirror with a click, and now when I put a lens on it, I could take pictures again.

The shutter's clearly not fixed, though. It's just back to the state it was in when I didn't, quite, have to get a new camera yet. I shot a bunch of continuous-mode paparazzi pictures of nothing and got new Error 99s separated by ten or twenty images, but these ones were clearable by turning the camera off and on again. This camera, with a cheap zoom on it, is now a bit too bulky but otherwise suitable to be chucked in my backpack in place of the $40 eBay Kodak I used to have, until that got rained on the other week and became unhappy.

If the 20D gets back into the fully-wedged error-99 state when I'm out and about, I can just Sensor Clean it again and stick my finger in there to wiggle the shutter loose once more. I very much hope some of the $5000 Lens Brigade that hang around the scenic areas of my town get to see me do that, and go as pale as an audiophile watching someone fixing a $10,000 turntable with a club hammer.

You can get parted-out shutter modules for almost any model of DSLR for pretty reasonable prices; looking on eBay now I see 20D shutter assemblies for about $50 delivered. I actually have in my time managed to dismantle and re-mantle a digital camera and have it work afterwards, but that was just to clean out crud that'd mysteriously gotten into the lens assembly of a point-and-shoot; replacing a whole super-finicky module would not make for a pleasant afternoon.

There are a couple of eBay dealers, "camera-revivor" and "Pro Photo Repair", who as well as selling various camera bits will also each replace a 20D shutter for about $200. Again, this is stupid for an old DSLR that only costs about that much second hand, but it could make sense for someone with a high-end pro DSLR of similar age with the same problem.

Do any of you, gentle readers, know if there's some lubricant or other trick that may make my old 20D's shutter happier? You've got to be very careful doing anything like that to a DSLR, because oil on the sensor is Bad, and oil also catches dust and crud and sticks it to mechanical assemblies, which is Worse. Actually, many lubricants will all by themselves make a sticky shutter even stickier, owing to the tight tolerances, low mass and high speed of the mechanism.

To stick with the horrifying-shade-tree-mechanicking-of-precision-equipment motif I should probably just squirt some WD-40 in there. Actually, being serious for a moment, a tiny dab of graphite powder (which is, by the way, cheap and a very useful dry lubricant for tasks like, stereotypically, freeing up stiff locks) might work.

LensRentals say you might perhaps be able to slightly bend or otherwise modify a shutter curtain section to prevent it from binding, but they'd just send the camera in for a proper service.

What do you reckon?

That ain't workin', that's the way you do it!

I received this yesterday:

From: [redacted]
To: dan@dansdata.com
Date: Sat, 6 Oct 2012 20:49:46 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Dan's Data Page

Hello Dan,

I came across your website, dansdata.com, this evening. I have been considering doing something like this for awhile. I was wondering if you would be willing to share with me how succesful it has been? I am trying to save enough money and invest it so I can live off of dividend payouts. My goal is to be able to be home with my family as much as possible. I have a target of atleast 100k and have managed to to save about 40k on my own thus far. It will takes years however to complete my goal on my own. I need a way to boost my savings. Please help.

Thanks,
[name redacted]

I always wonder how these people come to e-mail me. I've had two this week. I suppose they find my dansdata.com contact-and-donation page, which is titled "Give Dan Money For No Very Good Reason!", and... that's all they read, before clicking the e-mail link.

Because otherwise, they'd notice that people occasionally drop a buck or two in my tip jar because I, you know, wrote a load of stuff, on a very wide range of subjects.

Perhaps I've got this guy all wrong, and what he wants to do is start a Web site and slog away at it for a decade and make money that way. I suspect, however, that he, like the others who more clearly express their desire that I share my money-making secrets, just reckons I must be some kind of expert Internet panhandler. The contact/donation page scores really high in a Google search for "give me money"; I think a search like that is usually where these people come from.

When one of these correspondents seems to have two brain cells to rub together I direct them to my reply to this letter, in which I explain why people occasionally give me money. But all you really need to do is actually read the donation page, on which can be found subtle hints that it is not quite the only page on Dan's Data.

It'd make more sense if these e-mails were widely-copied scattershot spam, but they never seem to be. (Or, at least, Googling a string from them never turns up copies elsewhere.) Even the ones that include a sob story and ask me to send some of my presumed riches to them on account of how their son only has a burlap sack full of leaves for a body, or something, appear to have been typed in by an actual human and sent to only a few recipients, and quite possibly only to me.

I suppose sending spur-of-the-moment e-mails to someone who might know about getting strangers to send you money for nothing is a better wealth-generation strategy than just visualising money really hard and waiting for your Ultra Advanced Psychotronic Money Magnet to kick in.

I think you'd probably do better by just sending out PayPal money requests at random, though.

(The people I get PayPal money requests from almost certainly find me via the contact/donation page, too. Only seldom does someone really put in some effort.)

Bianca Lamb And Her Unstoppable Pastel Death Machine

I've been not writing blog posts while worrying about finishing my next Atomic columns, and not writing my next Atomic columns while worrying about finishing blog posts.

So here are some Fabuland mecha.

Fabuland mecha
(Image source: Flickr user lego_nabii)

Fabuland mecha
(Image source: Flickr user Uspez Morbo)

Fabuland mecha
(Image source: Flickr user Chiefrocker9000)

Fabuland mecha
(Image source: Flickr user lego_nabii)

Fabuland mecha
(Image source: Flickr user Sir Nadroj)

Fabuland mecha
(Image source: Flickr user sirxela)

Fabuland mecha
(Image source: Flickr user mahjqa)

Fabuland mecha
(Image source: Flickr user ToT-LUG)

Knife-trinket du jour

Boker credit-card knife

There's this little folding knife, made by Boker, called the "Boker Plus Credit Card Knife". Its unique selling point is that if you remove its pocket clip and fold the knife up, it'll fit in a credit-card pocket in your wallet.

The Credit Card Knife has a gratuitous titanium handle, lightening cut-outs and some other silly bullet-point features, and its street price is about $US20. Opinions concerning it are mixed, though, chiefly because it uses a modern blade-safety idea, but not very well.

The blade of a normal folding knife folds into a slot in the handle. The Credit Card Knife's handle is just one flat piece of metal, next to rather than around the blade, but the the blade is chisel-ground - one side has an edge ground on it, and the other side is flat. When closed, the blade's flat side lies flush against the handle, so it can't cut anything.

Peculiar-knife megabrand Columbia River Knife and Tool use this design on their popular, and excellent, "K.I.S.S." and "P.E.C.K." lines. It works really well, as long as the blade lies perfectly flush with the handle.

The design of the Boker knife means the edge doesn't actually lie quite flat on the handle. There's a gap, of maybe half a millimetre at best, but that's enough for the blade to retain some wood-plane-like cutting power. The knife is still fine to keep in a wallet, but not great to have bouncing around in your pocket, and if you run your finger down the edge when it's folded, you can give yourself a shallow cut.

The Boker's list price is a bit steep, too; it's $US34.95. You can get one for $US21.66 ex delivery on Amazon, or for $US21-ish delivered on eBay.

When you buy cheap major-brand knives cheap on eBay, though, there's a significant chance you're getting a Chinese knockoff (as opposed to the genuine article, often also made in China...). The quality of knockoffs can be very good; many Chinese factories sneakily make extra units of whatever they're contracted to make when the company that contracted them isn't looking, or similarly sneakily sell on units that failed quality-control testing, possibly only for cosmetic reasons.

Other Chinese knockoffs, though, are obvious, because they're only broadly similar to the item they're copying.

Card knife open

Which is the case here.

This knife (which carries the "Columbia" pseudo-brand, entirely unassociated with Columbia River) is a shameless, but far from identical, copy of the Boker. It has the same blade-gap problem, but it lacks the gratuitous titanium handle and other fripperies, and it's substantially cheaper.

As I write this, eBay Buy It Now prices for this knockoff are up around $US11, or you can lowball various auctions [UPDATE: I've improved that eBay search to find this knife under some more names] until you get one much cheaper. My 1337 eBay sniping skillz got me this one for $AU2.75 delivered, at which price I think a knife is good value even if it opens in your pocket and stabs you in the femoral artery and your lifeless body is later found in the middle of a huge congealing pool of blood.

Card knife closed

Folded up, the knockoff knife is about 66mm wide by 33mm high (2.6 by 1.3 inches), by 3mm thick if you only count the blade and the handle. Or about 7mm thick at the hinge pin, which is a simple button-head hex screw instead of the show-off hollow pin of the Boker original. Or about 9mm thick, if you include the hinge pin on one side and the removable pocket clip on the other.

It weighs about 36 grams (1.3 ounces) with the pocket clip, about 33 grams (1.2 oz) without. The Boker original is 1.1 ounces, about 31 grams, with pocket clip. Yep, that titanium handle's totally worth the extra money!

A standard credit card has a much larger footprint - about 86 by 54mm - but is much thinner, only about 0.7mm overall or about 1mm if you include raised lettering. But because this knife's height-by-width footprint is so small, it still fits OK in a credit-card wallet pocket, despite being at least three times as thick as a card.

I'm still not totally sold on the keeping-it-in-your-wallet idea, though, especially if you're one of those strangely numerous weirdos who put their wallet in a back pocket and sit on it all the time. Do that, and the little knife will try pretty hard to snap any credit cards it's being forcibly stacked up next to.

You could tuck the folded knife at one end end of a zip-up back-of-wallet pocket, though; it's also just about perfect for the little "Zippo pocket" in a pair of jeans. Many, many other possible locations suggest themselves, for such a tiny knife. The miscellaneous side pocket of your camera bag. Stuck to some other steel object with a magnet. Your car glovebox. You get the idea.

Card knife open, back

If you want to clip the knife onto a pocket, though, you're probably going to have to fiddle with it a bit. The clip on the knife I got was way too springy, requiring a ridiculous amount of pants-mangling effort to jam it onto anything. When I bent the clip back a bit, though, it worked.

The preferable way to bend the clip is by removing its three retaining screws with a little #8 Torx driver or similarly tiny Allen key, and then bending the clip in a vise. Just jamming a chunky flat screwdriver under the clip and levering will probably work too. From past experience I expected the clip to just snap when I tried to bend it, because "$2.75 Chinese folding knife" and "meticulous heat-treating of springy components" are terms not often found near each other. But it actually worked fine, on my knife's clip at least.

The knife is easiest to use without the clip on it at all. The handle is of course very thin - about 1.3mm - so it's not comfortable to use for long periods of time. But the little finger scallops on the edge of the handle actually give you quite a good index-and-middle-finger grip; it's not an instant ticket to repetitive strain injury like a P-38 can opener.

My $2.75 knife had some other flaws, too. As is usually the case for cheap Chinese knives, the machine-ground blade wasn't sharp all the way to the tip, so I had to touch that up. The rest of the edge is very sharp, though, and the super-shallow chisel grind makes this little knife a surprisingly excellent slicer and whittler, right out of the box.

Fit and finish overall is OK. The shiny metal showing through the cheap black coating on the built-up corner piece of my knife, for instance, is there because I filed that corner down to get the screw-heads flush with the surface. But, much more importantly, the blade's frame lock (an evolution of the liner lock) works well, with almost no play and no desire to close on your hand even if you rap the back of the blade on a table.

(As a general rule, you should be suspicious of cheap liner-lock knives; a poorly-implemented liner lock can and will close on your hand. Get a back-lock, or "lockback", knife instead; they're harder for sloppy manufacturers to get wrong. Or, of course, get a "fixed blade" knife, that doesn't fold at all.)

The smallness of the knife does make it a little dicey to open and close, safety-wise, but the basic stolen Boker design is sound.

For twenty bucks, even the fancy Boker version of this thing is not a tremendously attractive product. This knockoff for ten bucks is decent. For five bucks or less via an auction, it's really nice, and works surprisingly well.

Card knife dragon

Plus, there is a dragon embossed on it.

A frickin' dragon, dude!


If you just search eBay for credit-card knives, you'll currently find a lot of these "survival tools" (I bought one; it's about as convenient to use as you'd think, but it is indeed small and any tool is better than no tool), and also a lot of knockoffs of the Ian Sinclair CardSharp. The CardSharp and its copies have the dimensions of a normal credit card, with a blade in the middle; the rest of the thing cunningly folds around the blade to make a handle. I don't know if the CardSharp knockoffs are any good, but they sure are cheap, so I bought one and will write about it when it arrives.