Further Firepower folderol

Thanks to Anthony Klan's new piece in The Australian, I now have a few more pieces of the riveting Firepower jigsaw puzzle.

(And yes, that's right, Firepower are now getting a kicking from the Murdoch press as well as the Fairfax-owned Sydney Morning Herald.)

My bestest buddy Mr Stephen Moss is such a fresh-faced looking chap because he's only twenty-three. And his father, Bill Moss, used to be the Head of the Banking and Property Group at Macquarie Bank.

Before he resigned from the bank, Bill Moss was part of a Macquarie Bank consortium that bought the Sydney Kings basketball team for $AU400,000, and then sold the team to Firepower for two million bucks. Nice work if you can get it.

Stephen's own Firepower-but-not-Firepower business, whose name he never revealed to me, is apparently called Global Fuel Technologies.

That company name appears to only exist on pages having to do with Firepower. It is notably absent from the Australian Business Register.

And now Stephen's unhappy, because he's one of the numerous people to whom Firepower owe money. Hundreds of thousands of dollars, he says.

Not to worry, Steve - I'm sure your dad'll be happy to help you out. I hear he's been doing rather well lately.

Sayonara, Firepower!

It's been a while since I last wrote about the fine and upstanding fuel-additive company, Firepower.

We left them threatening my long-suffering blog hosts because I made available for download some promotional literature which Firepower's Australian CEO instructed me to make available for download. That, you may recall, was after he himself had decided not to sue me after all.

That second threat - from some Firepower representative who still hasn't had the courage to actually contact me - didn't work out too well for them, as anybody who's spent a minute or two on teh intarwebs could have predicted.

But I'm sure Firepower have worse things to worry about now. Because, amazingly enough for a company whose fuel-saving products would obviously be worth hundreds of billions of dollars a year if the claims made for them were true, Firepower now appear to be on the verge of collapse.

Offices abandoned, boss-man uncontactable, angry creditors (including the basketball team Firepower so famously bought) trying to get their money... it's a sad, sad scene, which observers of the burgeoning magic-fuel-pill industry haven't witnessed since, oh, the last magic-fuel-pill company came along.

(The Firepower debacle has been very bad for the entire Australian National Basketball League. Not only did they buy one of the front-running teams and then just kind of... not pay anybody, but they apparently got one of their mates into an advisory position for the whole League.)

Oh, yeah - remember those financially brilliant sportsmen who so eagerly invested in Firepower? On account of how they saw a video in which some chimneys were producing black smoke, and then it turned white, and if that isn't hard scientific evidence then I don't know what is?

Bad news for them too, I'm afraid.

Yes, I'm a bit gloat-y about all this. But overall I'm just... tired.

Over and over and over, this shit happens. Some bloke in a thousand-dollar suit turns up with a PowerPoint presentation and some dodgy supporting documentation from conveniently far-away nations, claiming to have a magic substance that causes internal combustion engines to do thermodynamically implausible things. If he's telling the truth then he'll be the richest man in history by a couple of orders of magnitude... and yet, instead of making his case to General Motors or Exxon, here he is in a rented serviced office, selling shares for cash.

And people hurl money at him, completely ignoring the fact that the same damn scam has been run hundreds of times before. Heck, they don't even care if the same guy has run the scam before.

And there's much excitement and news reports and press conferences, and extravagant displays of wealth and power (it's fine to spend millions on a basketball team; oddly enough, though, they never remember to spend a few grand on a proper test of their claims...), and anybody who dares point out that it's all obvious bullshit gets threatened with legal action.

And then... they take the money and run.

Again.

(Find all of my Firepower posts here.)

When a universal joint is just too PRACTICAL

This Toolmonger post about a novel right-angle socket adapter led me to the interesting concept of Hobson's Coupling, in which round rods bent to a right angle transfer torque around a ninety degree corner, because they're all free to turn in their mounting holes on each leg of the coupling.

Hobson's Coupling is, as any fool can see, an obvious candidate for adaptation into a steam/air-pressure engine. The result is called an Elbow Engine, and it's a thing to behold:

There are several more on GooTube. If the concept's still not clear to you, this page about making a ten-cylinder version (only seven moving parts!) from scratch may fill you in.

Hello? Hello? Hello?

Does your phone sometimes ring, and when you pick it up there's silence (not even heavy breathing), and then whoever called just hangs up on you after a few seconds?

No, it's not a burglar seeing if you're at home. Well, probably not, anyway.

It's a telemarketing company, using an autodialer.

The dialer works its way through its list of numbers, and when someone answers, it attempts to connect them to a human telemarketer. If all of those humans are already on another call, the autodialer just hangs up.

Some telemarketers say that this hang-up, or "abandon", rate is only about five per cent - the dialers are configurable, to dial more or less aggressively when almost all of the humans are busy. But I can tell you that I get a heck of a lot more than one hang-up for every nineteen who have someone available to waste my time in person.

Hang-up calls do, of course, tarnish the otherwise sterling reputation of the telemarketing industry. But, one, many people don't know that hang-up calls are from telemarketers. And, two, hang-ups tarnish the whole industry's reputation in general, while the slightly higher number of successful connections that a telemarketing company gets if they crank their autodialer up to maximum speed translates directly into more profit for that company.

That's right, kids; this is a Tragedy of the Commons. When an action X exists which is harmful yet profitable, and the harm is spread over a large group but the profit accrues only to whoever does X, it is in everybody's interest to do X, even if they know exactly why they shouldn't.

Here in Australia, it appears that telemarketers don't even have to use outgoing phone numbers that're visible on Caller ID, My hang-up calls are always from numbers that just come up as "PRIVATE".

And I can't, of course, ask the weasels responsible to take my number off their list, because I don't get to talk to them!

Yes, the phone number here is on the Australian Do Not Call Register. That doesn't seem to have helped a lot.

Getting an actual unlisted number genuinely does seem to work, but that ain't free, and apparently has to come along with the same "silent number" Caller ID un-listing that the telemarketer source numbers use. I don't want that.

To be fair, this is still not a major problem. The small Australian phone-sales market (our whole 775-million-hectare country has about 10% more people in it than 14-million-hectare New York State) just doesn't seem to support a very large number of professional telephone nuisances. So even though this household has made the horrible mistake of giving money to some charities that know what our phone number is, we only get, I don't know, maybe three telephone solicitations a week - versus the dozens per day that've historically been suffered by the worst-affected US households.

And I can't remember ever getting a recorded-message "robocall", though I know they do exist here.

To be perfectly honest, I prefer hang-up calls to the kind where an actual human says "Hello, is this Mr [surname of my girlfriend, to whom I am not married and whose surname I do not share]?"

I keep forgetting to tell those people to take me off their list. I can't resist the urge to tell them, using a few by-now-carefully-honed words, that their salutation has given them away, then hang up immediately.

Still and all, though, my vote stands ready to be cast in favour of the first politician whose Law And Order Crusade aims at People Who're Using Autodiallers For Anything Other Than Old-School Hard-Core Hacking, rather than the more traditional target of People Who'd Like To Be Happy.

UsefulsiteIdidn'tknowabout.com

I just discovered downforeveryoneorjustme.com, which does what it says on the tin.

Until now, I tested sites for down-ness by feeding their URL to a translator of some kind, thereby making the translator's server try to load the site. But downforeveryoneorjustme.com is much faster and more elegant.

It'll also tell you if you're checking the status of a nonexistent site. Oddly, though, it seems to believe that it itself is down.

(See also.)

Inside the AMXD

A company called Omni Consumer Products Medical Systems makes a product called the Advanced Mission Extender Device, or AMXD, for military aerospace applications.

At a glance, you'd think such a thing might be an external fuel tank or something. But it's actually, as anybody who's been reading recent News of the Weird coverage already knows, a bag for fighter pilots and the like to wee in.

OK, fair enough. Both male and female military aviators may find themselves strapped firmly into a seat for many, many hours, and coming up with a thing that both sexes can pee in when necessary during those hours, other than a big squishy horrible adult nappy, is not an easy task.

And the result has been the AMXD, which apparently carries a price tag of $US2000 per unit.

I was interested to see what the USAF and other worthies were actually getting for their money, and was pleased to discover that the AMXD manual is available for free download (PDF here).

The AMXD is so much more than a mere pee-bottle or Texas catheter.

It has a rechargeable battery (with the option of AAA alkalines)! A liquid crystal display! An inflatable cup and a "Female Pad" that's half sanitary napkin, half vacuum-cleaner attachment!

It even comes with special underpants - and male users can choose boxers or briefs!

The AMXD truly is a device with which no military-equiment aficionado should be unfamiliar.

Read the manual now, so you'll know how to work it when someone adds it to Falcon 4.0 or X-Plane. Surplus units will obviously soon be a must for the real-time simmer!

Clap your hands to revive OLPC, children!

If you were waiting for a new Renaissance of software development and super-networked self-starting educational bootstrapping to spread across the Third World as a result of the OLPC program... well, now could be a good time to find yourself some beer, and then start crying into it.

Parts of what I wrote in One Laptop Per Me are still perfectly applicable. The other parts, in which I just sort of assumed that the OLPC people wouldn't turn the whole deal into one giant WTF, now seem less well-chosen.

Oh well.

If, on the other hand, you're a cheap-tech vulture who just wants to suck up an OLPC laptop or three for fifty bucks each, the apparent utter debacle that the OLPC program seems doomed to become can only mean a buggerload of shiny white-and-green mini-laptops will be swamping eBay any time now.

(No, they never did turn out to make different models for poor kids and rich Westerners. So if you buy an eBay OLPC that was stolen by the random dude chosen to take a truckload of laptops to some not-even-served-by-the-Post-Office outpost in Peru, nobody will be able to tell that your laptop was originally meant to be given to a poor little kid. You may still feel guilty about buying it, and I hope you do, but if all this is true, then it seems depressingly clear that no force on earth ever actually would have gotten that computer into the hands of its intended recipient. Some bastard's going to buy it on eBay. Might as well be you, I suppose.)

The above-linked essay by Ivan Krstic is just one ex-OLPC-employee ranting, so everything in it may be nonsense.

But unless the core claim in that essay - that OLPC is basically completely without a deployment department, so there's nobody to make sure the half-million laptops they've sent out actually get where they're meant to go and can be made to work when they get there - is fundamentally false, then pretty much the whole OLPC project is, as of now, dead as a stone.

(Oh, and you know that special security system that's meant to disable stolen XO-1s? it turns out that Ivan Krstic was the main architect for that system, yet does not mention it in his essay. Which suggests that he's not hopeful that it'll do anything in particular to actually prevent theft.)

And this isn't even mentioning the earlier problem, that the constructionist philosophy that the whole OLPC project is built around has never actually been shown to work on any significant scale. Constructionism sounds as if it ought to work, but nobody's done it yet.

(There's also some closed-source versus Free Software folderol, which in this case does have a bit more bite than usual, if only because the XO-1 laptop has a "View Source" button that's supposed to show you the source code for pretty much anything you're looking at. This makes the concept of a Windows XP XO-1 particularly poignant, but I agree with Krstic that this is hardly the central problem, particularly seeing as the XO-1's "Sugar" GUI is what the View Source button is meant to affect, and Sugar can unquestionably be made to run on Windows, somewhat like unto Windows 95 on DOS.)

Krstic goes on to describe OLPC as an impending "historical fuckup unparalleled in scale", which is a great exaggeration. If OLPC turns out to be an utter and unmitigated failure then I suppose it might perhaps just make it into the Top Twenty of information technology fuckups (here, from just the other day...), but I suspect it won't even be in the top couple of hundred of historical business debacles, let alone certain military fuckups I could name.

And all this doesn't, of course, mean that the computers-for-the-poor idea is forever doomed. There's a whole new wave of low-cost mini-laptops, headed by the Asus Eee PC, which was pretty much kicked off by the OLPC XO-1. I think it's quite likely that these new systems will leak out into the Third World in a year or three, when things like the original seven-inch Eee start to become bargain-basement items.

It is amazing what kids - even very young kids - can do with computers, whether or not those computers arrive covered with spiffy unproven constructivist gift-wrap. And wireless-enabled solid-state low-power-consumption systems suitable for use out in the boondocks will become cheaper and cheaper as the years go by.

And heck, OLPC isn't targeting only poorer nations; there's an independent OLPC office here in Australia, for instance.

But you can't expect even the most enterprising of schoolchildren to pull laptop charging stations out of their fundaments, figure out programming from first principles all by themselves, or go and catch the bad man who drove all of their laptops over the border and swapped 'em for a truckload of dope and vodka.

Can it really be true that OLPC just ignored these issues?!

(Slashdot discussion of the essay here. Much Free/Non-Free Software heat, not much light. Expect a gun-control thread to start about half-way down the page.)

Are you suffering from Cyborg Pattern Baldness?

The Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 versions of Enemy Territory: Quake Wars are coming out in a few weeks. They're advertised by a new, and surprisingly amusing, promotional-movie blitz.

(Note also the boring old site at enemyterritory.com.)

These clips are not, I'm sorry to say, up there with the simply fantastic Team Fortress 2 "Meet The..." series. But they still definitely have their moments.

The above embeddable video thingy (which, if you're reading this long after I wrote it, has probably disappeared) at the moment only lets you view one of the videos and then makes you click through to stroyent.com. And even the one easily-seen video is only available in crappy-res.

So here is the Gamershell download page for that first video. The file is available on umpteen other download sites too, of course.

And here's a YouTube version of the first video, in case the above one doesn't work:

There's also an officially-uploaded-by Activision version here, but they decided to disable embedding for it, because they'd like fewer people to see it, or something.

OK. Here's the next clip:

(Official Activision YouTube version here, downloadable version here.)

And finally, here's the main promo video for the game, which applies to the PC version as much as it does to the console ones:

(Official un-embeddable YouTube version here; GamersHell download version here.)

This main clip is called "Monster Truck Style", for fairly obvious reasons. But this close-miked presentation now, inescapably, makes me think of the Brawndo commercials (and yes, I know).

ETQW itself is, when you actually play it, only mildly silly. It's a pretty straightforward team-on-team game, obviously descended from its interesting predecessor. It's got a good amount of class variation, plus vehicles, to appeal to the Battlefield Whatever crowd.

I've never played Team Fortress 2 - sorry, not enough hours in the day. I'm sure people will still be playing it a couple of years from now, so there's no great rush. Besides, I haven't quite finished with Tribes 2. But I'm still perfectly ready to believe that TF2 is the current king of the team-on-team genre. A million dorks can't be wrong.

ETQW, though, has distinctly different teams, rather than the different-only-in-colour teams of TF2. It also has vehicles, and slightly, but significantly, lower hardware requirements. So I'd say it's well worth picking up the ETQW demo to see if you like it, even if you're already nursing a TF2 habit.