And on it goes

If you've got a highly questionable investment to sell and are therefore in search of people with a remarkably high ratio of disposable income to intelligence, you really can't go past sportsmen.

And, in a procedure practically diagnostic of pseudoscience all by itself, Firepower have promised lots of really convincing test results that prove their claims but, so far, failed to deliver.

(In case you're wondering, "spruik" is a more-Australian-than-English word meaning "advertise", particularly in the context of making a sales speech to people passing by. Some Australian shops employ "spruikers", traditionally English (sounding...) people, to stand outside with a microphone and a little amplifier and encourage people to come inside. This is a parody, but it's a quite accurate depiction of the species. And it's also aimed at AWB Limited, the previously mentioned scandalously corrupt Australian quasi-governmental organisation that's loosely connected with Firepower.)

Oh, wait - did I forget to mention that Firepower's European chief executive was previously the head of Halliburton in Germany?

(First Firepower post here.)

7 Responses to “And on it goes”

  1. VMax Says:

    This is my favourite part of the first linked article
    "The smoke coming out of the stacks was black but by the time the machine had finished it was white," a rugby source said. "It was pretty impressive stuff. On the videos their machines and additives appear to clean up the majority of the pollution."
    Black smoke = nasty old pollution
    White smoke = happy friendly clouds which smile at trees and cuddle kittens
    Climate change scientists, take note!

  2. Daniel Rutter Says:

    Yes - I especially liked that part too. That, and the sportsdudes being so taken with the idea that, when the sellers of the dodgy shares ran out, they started buying them from each other at a vast markup.

    "Tell me, O Masterful Handler of the Pigskin, what was it that you actually did in your high school science classes?"

    "Uh - isometric exercises, mainly."

    ("Sometimes I touched myself a bit.")

    ("Sometimes I touched my mate Steve.")

  3. corinoco Says:

    Well, Peter Holmes a Court (the well-known industrial chemist and petroleum specialist capitalist) thinks Firepower is just tickety-boo! I for one am convinced by the black-smoke-to-white-smoke proof.

    However, to convince the majority of people who can think clearly, perhaps they could get their V8-sponsered car and line it up with a 'normal' V8 supercar and start doing laps around Bathurst without refueling. Surely the Firepower-fuel-additive-filled car would go a measurable distance further, say a measly 15-20%? Simple test, no? An advantage like that could easily put your car on the winning podium for most long distance races, eg Sandown, Bathurst. I don't recall see Firepower's car high on the podium though... oh, well, maybe it only works on militia trucks and ex-Eastern-bloc armoured vehicles.

  4. VMax Says:

    You won't get any advantage like that in V8 Supercars - they all run on the same control fuel (Shell Optimax IIRC), putting any magic pills in is more likely to get you disqualified than on the podium :)

  5. Gareth Pye Says:

    True VMax, but in the alternate universe where their product does what they claim it does, they would have done this test publicly in an observable and transparent manner :)

  6. corinoco Says:

    Exactly Gareth! I know that the race cars are strictly controlled, I was just thinking a Mythbusters-style test of a regulation V8SC vs. Firepower-additive "enhanced" V8SC should prove elightening for all invloved. I think it would also serve as useful experimental data for plenty of 'alternate universe' theories too, so I would be watching out for snipers on Forest Elbow, and any CIA 'black triangle' aircraft hovering overhead. Also watch for flying pigs (or at least lost Pink Floyd props...)

  7. matt Says:

    when the sellers of the dodgy shares ran out, they started buying them from each other at a vast markup.

    Now that sounds like a lot of fun to watch. And kinda familiar too.

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